30 Days of Screenplays, Day 25: “The Kids Are All Right”
Why read 30 screenplays in 30 days?
Because whether you are a novice just starting to learn the craft of screenwriting or someone who has been writing for many years, you should be reading scripts.
There is a certain type of knowledge and understanding about screenwriting you can only get from reading scripts, giving you an innate sense of pace, feel, tone, style, how to approach writing scenes, how create flow, and so forth.
We did 30 Days of Screenplays in 2013 and you can access each of those posts and discussions here. This time, we’re trying something different: I invited thirty Go Into The Story followers to read one script each and provide a guest post about it.
Today’s guest columnist: Joni Brainerd.
Title: The Kids Are All Right. You may read the screenplay here.
Year: 2010
Writing Credits: Written by Lisa Cholodenko & Stuart Blumberg
IMDB rating: 7.1
IMDB plot summary: Two children conceived by artificial insemination bring their father into their family life.
Nic and Jules are in a long term, committed, loving but by no means perfect relationship. Nic, a physician, needs to wield what she believes is control, whereas Jules, under that control, is less self-assured. During their relationship, Jules has floundered in her “nine to five” life, sometimes trying to start a business — always unsuccessfully — or being the stay at home mom. She is currently trying to start a landscape design business. They have two teen-aged children, Joni and Laser, Nic who is Joni’s biological mother, and Jules who is Laser’s biological mother. Although not exact replicas, each offspring does more closely resemble his/her biological mother in temperament. Joni and Laser are also half-siblings, having the same unknown sperm donor father. Shortly after Joni’s eighteenth birthday and shortly before she plans to leave the house and head off to college, Laser, only fifteen and underage to do so, pleads with her to try and contact their sperm donor father. Somewhat reluctantly, she does. He is late thirty-something Paul, a co-op farmer and restaurateur. Despite his seemingly successful businesses, Paul has always shirked responsibility, most specifically in his personal life. After Joni and Laser meet with Paul, Nic and Jules learn what their children have done, and although they don’t want Paul infiltrating their lives, they want to meet him especially as Joni and Laser seem to want to maintain some sort of relationship with him. As Paul’s relationship with the entire family grows, which also includes him hiring Jules to design and construct his back yard, they have an effect on what he wants in life, and he in turn affects the family dynamic as well as each person’s relationships outside of the family.
Tagline: Nic and Jules had the perfect family, until they met the man who made it all possible.
Analysis: For me, this was all about “consequences of our actions”. This theme seeped to the surface time and time again, whether that action was 16+ years ago, as were Paul’s sperm donations, or ten minutes ago, like Jules slipping inside Paul’s house to, allegedly, use the bathroom. It’s all about making choices and living with what comes of them. Whether that’s in the company we keep friends-wise, deciding to learn the identity of a biological parent, or the many choices we make within relationships which have seen better days. I was immediately drawn to every single character in this story, despite not having walked in any of their exact shoes in my own life. There’s still relateability in their desires and angst and good intentions and curiosity. I loved that it’s not any ONE’s story — — it belongs to EACH character pretty much all the way through. I loved that — that while there was immense conflict and distress and angst, I wasn’t rooting for anyone against someone else, but I was rooting for each and every character, each in their own way. It seems difficult to pull off — and yet, this script does it well. I also appreciate the “dynamics” of all these relationships and the various collision courses we get to see unfold, like the kids with their respective friends, and with Paul. The Nic-Jules relationship is soooo amazing — we “get it”, and we relate to it — their memory of how they met, the glimpses of both the beautiful and the strained parts of their marriage, their pining for making things better, their willingness to both plod along and to work through the hard stuff to get to (back to?) the great stuff.
Most Memorable Dialogue: Two faves here. One comes early on, when the moms have a sit-down with son, Laser. They hope to ferret out their suspicions about “exploring” his sexuality with loser-buddy, Clay. Of course, Laser is on a different wavelength entirely — anxious, of course, over having been caught watching their porn, sure, but more worried they’ve discovered he and his sister have met their sperm donor daddy. Let the misunderstandings and hilarity ensue!
LASER: But like, wouldn’t you rather watch two women doing it?
JULES:You would think that. But in most of those movies, they’ve hired two
straight women to pretend and the inauthenticity is just unbeara —
NIC: Okay, that’s enough! Laser, your mom and I have a sense there’s some
other stuff going on in your life and we just want to be let in.
LASER: What do you mean?
JULES: Are you having a relationship with someone?
NIC: You could tell us, honey. We’d understand and support you.
Laser looks confused. How did they find out about Paul?
LASER: I just met him once.
Nic and Jules share a worried look.
NIC: What do you mean once?
JULES: Did he find you on-line?!
LASER: What?!
NIC: Who did you meet once?
LASER: Paul! I met him with Joni.
NIC: Who’s Paul?!
JULES: Why was Joni there?!
LASER: She set it up.
NIC: Forget the set-up! Who is Paul?!!
LASER: Our sperm donor.
Jules and Nic go white.
LASER: Wait, did you guys think I was gay?!
The second comes near the end end when, in a moment of purging and apologizing and trying to make sense of the mess she’s contributed to making, Jules addresses her family about the marathon that is marriage:
JULES: Look, it’s no big secret your mom and are in hell
right now. Bottom line…marriage is hard…really fucking
hard. Just two people, slogging through the shit, year
after year, getting older, changing. It’s a fucking marathon,
okay?!
Everyone is silenced by the outpouring. Jules soldiers on.
JULES: So sometimes you’re together so long, you just stop
seeing the other person. You just see weird projections of
your own junk. And instead of talking to each other, you go
off the rails, and act grubby and make stupid choices. Which
is what I did. And I feel sick about it because I love you
guys and I love your mom and that’s the truth. Sometimes you
hurt the ones you love the most. I don’t know why. Maybe if
I read more Russian novels I would…
Most Memorable Moments: So many to choose from…. I think two that stand out for me both come in the same sequence — the dinner at Paul’s house. First, there’s Nic thumbing through his record albums, searching — and then finding — some “link” to this guy, something that’ll make her feel better about this strange/unique/blossoming relationship Paul seems to be having with everyone in her family except her. That link is Joni Mitchell. Nic and Paul connect, spouting off names of Joni Mitchell albums/songs. It’s quick and cute and clever and just between them, and it’s just enough for Nic to let her guard completely down, close her eyes, and SING, albeit not well, lyrics from a Joni Mitchell song. Brilliance comes in a couple of ways — — first, the song lyrics chosen for this brave, vulnerable moment are already telling and indicative of her and Jules’ marriage, and, as Nic learns very soon, foretelling of what anguish is yet to come. Nic “loses herself” singing. Not long after, she “loses herself” in another way when she finds Jules’ red hair in Paul’s bathroom and bedroom. Both instances of her coming undone are gut-wrenching and heart-breaking — to read and to watch. That’s awesome writing — to be that moved on the page. Aspirational, really.
What Did I Learn About Screenwriting From Reading This Script: I’ve been a fan of Lisa Cholodenko since HIGH ART. Loved it and LAUREL CANYON both, so was anxious for this offering when the movie came out a few years ago. One thing I had to keep in mind with the script is she’s writing (or, rather, co-writing with Stuart Blumberg) a script she’s going to direct. Is there a shorthand in so doing? Sure, I imagine so. Is the action/description/narrative pared down because she’s already seeing more in her director’s mind than needs to be written if for someone else to bring to life? Could be. Or at least so I thought until I read/watched interviews with her and learned they worked on this script 4–5 years!! Anyway, there’s “enough” on the page for me to visualize and come to know these characters and this corner of the world in which they exist and collide. I appreciate the brevity of the writing — it’s terse and effective. I get “a lot” with “a little” — a great lesson for us screenwriters honing our craft!
I appreciated how the smallest phrase in a scene could shed mountain-size revelation. Like the description of Jules’ “inner co-dependent”. Or the phrase “soldiers on”. Or the culmination of Laser and Clay, with “friendship over”. Few words, immense impact. HUGE lesson!! Work and mine and whittle for the fewest, best possible words.
I love the reminders to plant and foreshadow — — like the first time Nic is forced to reckon with Jules’ long, red mess of hair in a drain. We’re always told to pick and choose our details wisely and this was one of those instances — — you just know, reading that bit on p. 31 — this means something. And it does. Similarly, when Laser and Joni first meet Paul, his motorcyle is seen and talked about, and we KNOW it’ll resurface.
The dialogue throughout is crisp and real and sharp and witty. And you know who’s who, which is, as far as I’m concerned, one of a screenwriter’s toughest feats — to not have every character sound like everyone else. It’s little things — like Paul’s “right on”, and the shorthand Jules and Nic use with each other. Great reminder we don’t have to spell everything out for people (readers/viewers) — give a nibble, let it unfold, what things mean emerge quick enough.
Thanks, Joni! To show our gratitude for your guest post, here’s a dash of creative juju for you. Whoosh!
To see all of this year’s 30 Days of Screenplays: Vol. 2, go here.
