I'd like to focus on two sides of dialogue, both spoken by Nyles. Here is a line which does a good job of voicing the cynical Nyles at the beginning of the story:
"We kind of have no choice but to live. So I think your best bet is just to learn how to suffer existence."
Here is Nyles toward the very end:
NYLES
Even though I pretend not to be, I’ve realized I’m completely co- dependent, but now I’m cool with it because life is meant to be shared... semi-colon... I need you for survival --
SARAH
That’s your one sentence --
NYLES
WAIT!
She stops.
NYLES
... I need you for survival, comma, but this is so much more than that... colon... I know you better than anyone knows you, and that day we saw the dinosaurs, you said to really know a person you have to see their entire package, the good and the bad, well you’ve see mine, and I’ve seen yours, and you have an excellent package. Ampersand you’re my favorite person I’ve ever met, and yes, it seems like crazy odds that a person I’d meet stuck in a time loop would end up being my favorite person, but you know what else has crazy odds? Getting stuck in a fucking time loop. Dot dot dot--
SARAH
Ellipses.
NYLES
Yes, ellipses, thank you. Ellipses, I hope blowing ourselves up works, but if it doesn’t, it’s irrelevant for me, as long as I’m with you. And if it kills us... well... Sarah Isabel Wilder, I’d rather die with you than live in this world without you, emphatic period.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orJ783dIibE
First, note Nyles' metamorphosis: Cynical, seemingly carefree loner to someone who discovers he wants to share life with another, and that person is Sarah.
But second, this scene features what is known as the Big Speech (or the Big Confession). And these are *really* hard to pull off. They have to honest, but they also have to be entertaining. In WHMS, it's Harry listing all of Sally's quirks:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4ODPyUxLNw&t=14s
In Palm Springs, it's the "one sentence" bit. That's an inspired bit of writing as far as I'm concerned: colon, ampersand, ellipses as part of a romantic confession? Surprising, funny, and that simple complication adds to the authenticity of Nyles' words.
Palm Springs has great dialogue throughout, especially with Nyles, Sarah, and Roy (" At least you have each other. Nothing is worse than going through this shit alone.")
