Script to Screen: “Witness”
The movie’s title exists for a reason: Samuel witnesses a brutal murder.
From the 1985 movie Witness [screenplay by Earl W. Wallace and William Kelley, story by William Kelley and Pamela Wallace & Earl W. Wallace].
Setup: Samuel, a young Amish boy, is traveling with his mother. Needing to use the facilities, he enters the bathroom at a train station in Philadelphia.
Here is the scene from the script:
ANGLE IN MEN’S ROOM
As Samuel enters.
It’s a long row of sinks, urinals, and stalls… Samuel stops
before one of the urinals — a long, trough-like affair with
water drizzling down the rear porcelain panel.It’s set a little high for Samuel, and it is making GLUGGING
FLUSHING NOISES that are, at least, intimidating. Samuel
stares for a moment, then turns, looks toward the stalls,
stoops to see which are empty.HIS POV — TOILETS
Beneath the row of doors we can see no feet visible. Samuel
is alone in the restroom.BACK TO SCENE
As Samuel proceeds along the row of door, finally selects a
stall near the end. He enters. As he does so, a heavily
bearded youth in a dirty sweatshirt enters. With some urgency,
he removes small notebook from his pocket and places it behind
a paper towel dispenser. Suddenly he glances up.Two other men have entered the men’s room; one is a large
BLACK MAN in a three-piece suit under an expensive, overcoat.
His PARTNER is a Caucasian in designer jeans, half boots and
a short leather jacket.They advance on the young man with unmistakable menace.
The young man whirls in terror; his two assailants lunge for
him… a savage, wordless struggle ensues in the close
confines of the lavatory.ANGLE IN SAMUEL’S STALL
As the struggling men bounce off the door of his stall… he
can see their feet under the edge of the door.BACK TO FIGHT
As the struggle builds to a climax… ends with the young
man stiffening with a grunt, his face draining of color.The two attackers step away, the blade in the black man’s
hand bloodstained. His partner stares at what they’ve
accomplished with a stunned expression:PARTNER
Jesus…The young man’s hand comes away from his belly covered with
blood.He stares at it, staggers toward the sinks. Finally his
bloodied hand reaches to smear at his face in the mirror.
Then he collapses to the floor.The black man motions for his partner to watch the door,
then quickly reaches up and removes the notebook from behind
the dispenser.ANGLE IN SAMUEL’S STALL
As he edges open the stall door a crack. Over his shoulder
we can see the black man, his BACK TO US, rifling the
backpack. But beyond him, in the mirror on the far wall, we
catch sight of the black man’s face.SAMUEL
As he stares out the narrow crack. A beat, then he closes
the stall door.ANGLE IN STALL
Samuel tries to make the latch work, but it’s warped and
won’t fall closed.BLACK MAN
As he checks the notebook before placing it in his pocket.
His partner is covering the door, an automatic in his hand.The black man makes for the exit, then on second thought,
glances at the row of stalls.HIS POV — STALLS
All quiet, but…
BACK TO SCENE
The black man whips out a .38 caliber revolver, and, starting
at the near end, starts pushing open the stall doors.ANGLE IN SAM’S STALL
As the black man approaches, Samuel working desperately on
the latch. At the last minute he finally wedges it in.BLACK MAN
He elbows Samuel’s stall… the door won’t open.
ANGLE IN SAM’S STALL
Fighting back panic, Samuel has retreated as far as he can.
BLACK MAN
As he gives the door a kick. It holds. He swears under his
breath.ANGLE IN SAM’S STALL
In desperation, Samuel does the only thing he can think of…
he slips under the partition into the neighboring stall the
black man just checked out. But he loses his hat in the
process. His hand snakes back INTO FRAME to snatch it just
as the black man gives the door a ferocious kick that
splinters the lock and nearly takes it off its hinges. He’s
framed there, the big muzzle of the .38 revolver looking
down our throats.ANGLE
As his partner snaps from the doorway:
PARTNER
Will you come on, for Christ’s sakes!A beat, then the black man holsters his weapon, turns to
follow the partner out.BACK TO SAMUEL
As we hear the SOUND OF THE TWO MEN EXITING the lavatory. A
long beat, then Samuel opens the stall door a crack.HIS POW THROUGH DOOR
Samuel’s own face reflected in the blood-smeared mirror…
then PANNING DOWN to the still figure of the young man lying
in the crimson pool of his own blood on the floor.
Here is the scene from the movie:
Questions to ask to analyze the scene:
- What elements in the movie scene are the same as the script?
- What elements in the movie scene are different than the script?
- Regarding the differences, put yourself in the mindset of the filmmakers and speculate: Why did they make the changes they did?
- How did the changes improve the scene?
- Alternatively are there elements in the script, not present in the movie, that are better than the final version of the scene?
- Note each camera shot in the movie version. Which of them does the script suggest via sluglines or scene description?
- How does the script convey a sense of the scene’s tone, feel, and pace through scene description and dialogue?
- What ‘magic’ exists in the movie that is not indicated in the words of the script? How do you suppose that magic emerged?
I’ll see you in comments for a discussion of this terrific scene from Witness.
One of the single best things you can do to learn the craft of screenwriting is to read the script while watching the movie. After all a screenplay is a blueprint to make a movie and it’s that magic of what happens between printed page and final print that can inform how you approach writing scenes. That is the purpose of Script to Screen, a weekly series on GITS where we analyze a memorable movie scene and the script pages that inspired it.
